Quotes of the Day

Day Three

Street kid comes up to me and says: Do you have phone number and email?

Me: No, no phone number! (I really didn’t and if I did I wasn’t about to give it to a random kid)

Street kid: No email?

Me: Why do you want to know my email?

Street kid: That man ask me to ask you. (Points to lecherous-looking, half-drunk Filipino tourist)

Me: Noooooo… (and runs away half scared, half dying of laughter)

Day Four

Camille meets new Cambodian student and introduces herself: Hi, I’m Camille.

Student: Oh, I’m Khmer too!

Day Three: Reality Hits

Today is the day. The day I go to Sihanoukville. The day I finally get to see the school, and my home for the next 11 months. The day I felt like running away. The day my heart broke again and again… and again.

As we boarded the bus and rode past villages, farms and slums along the way, reality hit. Cambodia is poor. Cambodia is tough. Life here is tough. What am I doing here, God? I am not ready for this, Lord! Maybe Phnom Penh but Sihanoukville is poor and dirty and mail takes 3 months to get here! I felt like running away back home. And at the same time felt guilty that I had an option of running away but these people here have no way out.

At that point, the bus turned and I saw the town, the hills and the sea. It was beautiful. And I was ashamed. Ashamed that I am not worthy of the call. Ashamed that I am too much of a princess to care, really care, about the Cambodians. And I was reminded again that God is in control. I could stare at the desperation in the eyes of every Cambodian and back down or I could love and intercede for them. Not because I am able but because I trust that God is more than enough for me and for the Cambodians. And for that moment I knew that this is where God wants me to be. Not just because He told me to go, but because being here, He has told me to stay.

That night, Megan, my roomie from America and fellow teacher, decided to be adventurous and find our way down to the beach. We got off the tuk tuk at some corner and followed a bunch of backpacky, tanned and beachy looking tourists down a small muddy track thinking they should know the way to the beach! Indeed they did. We ended up on a tiny jetty just as the sun was setting on the little cove dotted with a long row of beachside bars and small restaurants. Megan and I made ourselves cosy on papasans facing the sea for dinner.

And that’s when it all started. The kids. I guess I can’t call them street kids but beach kids perhaps - kids peddling bracelets, necklaces and fireworks. They break your heart, frustrate you, amuse you and amaze you at the same time. They’re quick, they’re smart, they speak perfect English and they have perfected the art of puppy-dog eyes. They age from as little as 3 to 16.

The kids I encountered:

1. Got to talk to one 16 year old girl who pestered me into buying 2 bracelets. She goes to high school and her favourite subject is Maths. She pays $25/month to learn English which is why she needs to sell bracelets. I asked her what she wanted to do when she grows up. She said she wants to be a lawyer. It might be me but for that moment I could see her dream. And then it was back to work again. I hope she becomes a lawyer one day.

2. Megan got harassed by this one little boy. Most charming thing ever! He looked about 8. I call him little Jason Mraz – dressed in Bermudas and a loose shirt, topped off with a straw fedora, quick wit and a way with words. He’s almost like a little man. But as he tried to strike a deal with Megan over a game of tic-tack-toe, I saw that little boy in him again. He enjoys games very much. However, that night he wasn’t playing games, he was working.

3. Living under the shadow of the seasoned pros, the younger kids had no chance. There were 2 little sisters in particular who melted my heart. The older looked about 6 and the younger one, 3. They didn’t speak at all and just lurked beside us staring. I gave the little one with her soft curls and plain dress a piece of my bread. She seemed hungry. She looked unsure for a moment but gnawed at it willingly. A moment later, I saw her sharing her bread with her older sister before she ran excitedly into the swash of the sea – perfectly happy in that moment. They hadn’t learnt yet about this dog-eat-dog world. They loved each other and they shared what little they had and enjoyed whatever simple pleasures they could.

The Cambodians are a people that are easy to love but with a culture that is difficult to understand. Giving them what they need materially doesn’t stop poverty. So much financial resources, educational investment and humanitarian aid has been poured into this country. It definitely has gone a looong way! But it does not solve.

Day Two: A Time of Reflecting and Learning

After the hectic craziness of my first day, I took the next day easy … relatively. I spent the morning learning basic Khmer from Bom. Very helpful indeed!

My goal: to attain conversational Khmer by the end of my 11 months here! 

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Khmer Progress Chart

After my crash course I hopped onto Bom’s moto (you see, I’m quite a professional now), and had a Khmer lunch at her home with her family. We zoomed down a bumpy unpaved path past slum-village hybrids (very common in Cambodia) where shiny new bungalows stood next to shacks where naked children and dogs ran as wild as the wind together. Bom’s house is a compound enclosed by a high gate, tall fences and barbed wired around the fencing. I later learnt that barbed wire is quite a common choice for fencing in Cambodia. Ditch the picket fences!

Anyways, back to the point. The visit to Bom’s was thoroughly interesting. Cambodian lifestyle still confuses me. It’s not in between modern and traditional. It’s both at the same time.

After lunch I got to meet with Jess Nguyen! It was such a delight to meet with Jess again, visit her new home, see her school and talk with a friend! I admire Jess immensely. She works at Asian Hope International School. I got to see her school and her classroom. She teaches Grade 1 and 2. I will be teaching Grade 1 so it was an immensely eye-opening experience for me – fresh off the boat and with no teaching experience whatsoever. I promptly stole many teaching and classroom management ideas from her.It was a good vision trip for me.

The 2 days I spent in Phnom Penh was a great introduction to Cambodia. I got to take in some of the sights and got a taste of the culture but more importantly, I got to glean from very wise men and women of God who have had much experience living, working and loving Cambodia.

Visited the tourist attractions: Check

Met missionaries/teachers/friends: Check

Had time for reflection and devotions: Check

Encountered authentic Cambodian family: Check

Very successful 2 days. Praise God!

DAY ONE: The People, The Heart, The Lessons Learnt

My first day in  Phnom Penh, I had interesting encounters with 5 people.

1. Breakfast with Bom

Bom is the office administrator at the Phnom Penh Life University office. I had pho with her this morning. She is Khmer, born in a town near the Vietnam-Cambodia border. For 3 years she worked as a teacher in a public school followed by a series of jobs in private companies and NGOs where she faced unfair working conditions.What she told me was my first impression on Cambodia. She would be the first of many who would air frustrations on Cambodia's corruption, disarray, the shoddy national school system and the numerous NGOs in this country - some good and some not so good. What struck me was that although she couldn't be more than a few years older than me, her eyes spoke of much more suffering than I will ever face and her hand tough with hard work. But Bom is considered part of Cambodia's middleclass. How many others live in poverty and hardship in the provinces?

2. Lunch with Mindy

Mindy strolled in looking chic in a sleek shirt/pant combo and with a binder in one hand and a helmet in the other. I think when I saw that helmet I knew that she would be my hero. You see, in Cambodia, people ride motos to get around. Mindy's only been here for a year and a half but she rides a moto and speaks Khmer (she ordered lunch for me in Khmer). She works in a local university teaching English and lived with the students in residence her first year here. She was born and bred Canadian but had such love for the people that it blew me away. Those little things like riding a moto and speaking Khmer pointed to her heart of what being a living sacrifice truly means. What love truly means. Her husband and her didn't see ministry to the Cambodians as just a few years in the country and then going home. It wasn't about giving up a portion of their lives. It was about living life to the fullest anytime, anywhere and being Jesus where there was need. They are here indefinitely. They want to raise their kids here. They are in it with the Cambodians.They are willing to rejoice with them and mourn with them.

Bless those who persecute you: bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. 

Romans 12:14-15

There's one thing that Mindy said that I remember. It's very simple: "I love Jesus. And Jesus loves Cambodia". And that's why she's in Cambodia.

Mindy taught me that I cannot not stare into the face of Cambodia and look away. I could live comfortably in an expat community for a year and teach my kids from my textbooks and leave unchanged. Or I could live radically and love radically in a place that so desperately needs a saviour. I am no saviour but I know Who is.

3. Yejj Cafe Guy

So at the Russian Market I went to Yejj Cafe. I met the guy who runs the place. He's Canadian. He used to live in Scarborough. This hit close to home ... literally. (I live in Scarborough too). He came to Cambodia 8 years ago with a missions organization with his wife (they both graduated from Tyndale). Now, he works running the cafe which provides jobs for Cambodians and also is part of a larger organization that equips and educates Cambodian youth on web design and small business management. It reminds me to a lot more that's out there. Ministry goes beyond just the typical. It's in education, it's in business, it's just in loving people around you anywhere, anytime.

4. Dinner with Gary and Bev

Gary and Bev are grandparents from Canada. But they're grandparents who are still willing to live their lives for Jesus anytime, anywhere. They have been in Cambodia for 3 years training pastors here in theology and leadership after serving as pastors in Canada for years. Truly a life of service from beginning to end. While Lyle and Mindy’s journey in Cambodia has been marked by a pioneering and adventurous spirit to take on and engage in the Khmer culture, Gary and Bev are an older couple steadfast, loving and dedicated. They portray a marriage marked by grace and endurance. They show what it’s like to be in service for the long haul and keep such a joyful spirit always.Throughout dinner and on the way back, it was enjoyable watching Gary and Bev interact. They still poked fun at each other and still called each other 'babe'. They were still so in love with each other. And still so in love with Jesus. 

Things that Bev said stuck with me:

"Sometimes there's nothing much you can do here. You just love them and they just love you back."

"You come here thinking you're going to do something great and you realize that you're just like everyone else doing a small part."

We may think we can, but we cannot accomplish much here with our own hands. But all that God calls us to do is love. And that's what I am learning to do here.

Words cannot describe all the people I met, the experiences I have went through and all that I have learnt in such a short time. There are some amazing people over here - Cambodians and other people, gathered from around the world because they love Jesus and Jesus loves Cambodia.

God is Love

DAY ONE: The Adventures of Me

Hmm… where do I begin? Today I think has to be the most CRAZY/AMAZING days of my life. I call these times The Adventures of Me. It sounds narcissistic but it aptly describes moments of my life when I do silly things, especially by myself, and have a little chuckle on my own on the inside. Sometimes it bubbles over to a little smile or a subdued gurgle. And I roll my eyes a little and bemoan my stupidity.

So these are The Adventures of Me. It started in the morning around 9am (late for Khmer standards). And I am also proud to say that it was my first time on the back of a bike. And second time. And third time. I feel like a pro now. To be honest, I was shocked stiff thinking I had to (1) ride on a bike after the many warnings of Asian parents, (2) flag a “moto” taxi to go somewhere (HOW in the world would I know which were taxis and explain where I had to go?), (3) and finally I actually had to get on and trust the driver!  

But I DID IT! And I must say, it’s quite the ride. Love it.

- Especially when it rains (NOT!). Needless to say, it rained today… while I was on the moto! The driver popped out his nifty plastic poncho. I just shrugged and hugged my bag closer as rain pelted down. On the bright side, it was quite refreshing! And just as quickly as it started, the rain cleared up and I got quite dry from the breeze of the ride. Oh, the adventures of me.

- Especially when I get ripped off (NOT!). So I was told the ride would cost me 3000 riel. I paid 5000 riel. But that’s down from the 7000 riel he tried to charge. That’s still a bargain… Right?... r i g h t? Ooh, the adventures of me. Maybe I should rename it the adventures of being ripped off.

Stats for the day:

# people I met – 5

# motos I sat on – 3

# times I got ripped off – 2

# touristy places I went to – 3

# Khmer words I know – still 0

# roasted pigs on a spit I saw – 3

# times I had to say “no moto” or “no tuk tuk” – countless

# times my heart broke for the Cambodians – 2

So I went to Sovannah Shopping Centre, the Russian Market and Riverside… without a map. Silly girl! :( OH the adventures of me! But more than the sights I saw (together with my trusted travelling buddy, Doremon), the exciting moto rides, the smells of the city and the crazy Khmer culture, it was the people I talked to that blew me away. 

(To be continued...)

Notes from Singapore

1. While in Singapore, I am staying with my grandma aka gramma. My grandma took care of me growing up – changed my nappies, bathed me, fed me and made sure I grew up healthy. And now that I am older, I need to wake her up in the morning, prepare meals and care for her. It feels … strange. I am starting to understand now what family means. Just the tip of the iceberg.

2. My gramma’s fridge is always well stocked with chocolate, beer and frozen curry.

3. Even if I make bad Quaker Oats for my gramma she still says it’s very nice.

4. I saw a book on John Sung, one of the pioneers of Christianity in China, at my gramma’s house. I decided to ask my gramma about it and this is what I found out:

When my gramma was 17 and her brother was 16, they went to an evangelistic meeting by John Sung. There, my gramma’s brother gave his life to God. He went to Bible School and became a pastor. He is now 91 years old and a retired Reverend. I met him a few days ago. The first thing he did was to stick out his hand and bless my niece.

My gramma met my granddad in an ‘open-air’ meeting in Penang, Malaysia. My granddad was the one blowing the trumpet and preaching in these ‘open-air’ meetings – as an officer at the Salvation Army, he had to go through 2 years of training to learn how to preach.

My great-grandfather was a minister who did missions in China. Apparently, he lived on $3 a month. He was very poor. This is what my gramma was told when she was little. I don’t think she met him. We don’t know how he became a Christian but somehow he did and I’m sure it changed his life. And I’m sure he never knew that one significant decision he made in China could have impacted the next 6 generations of his family – and my own life. From China, the gospel has been taken to Malaysia, Singapore, England, Australia, Canada and perhaps Cambodia.

This is my family. I come from a long line of pastors, missionaries and social workers. I can only imagine them when they were my age, passionate for a cause greater than themselves. To them it wasn’t about ‘full-time ministry’ or being in the ‘marketplace’. It was about life. And getting the gospel out to the people was of utmost urgency. Going to Cambodia for a year is a luxury compared to those who came before me and laid down their lives.

5. My cousin who starred in Tekken came to visit my gramma the day before I arrived with 3 oranges and 3 apples to give to my gramma. My auntie was amused that an ‘ang moh’ can understand Asian customs.

6. I have been crowned D.A. (Diaper Assistant)to my niece, Hannah Grace. I was made to change her diapers one day but she made a giant poo poo that snuck out a bit to the side. Laura, my sister-in-law, took over because I couldn’t handle squirming legs and side poop at the same time.

Micah 6:8

INTERNET! I've been a bit deprived the past 2 weeks without my own internet and having to mooch of people's internets. Especially with so much I have seen and heard - I feel like a rice bag exploding in the seams. And at times like these I long for and miss community. But at times like these I also get excited about building a whole new and radical community with the Cambodians, children, teachers and other missionaries. 

Ok, so before I go on rambling like a mad woman, I ought to explain what's been happening in the past few weeks. About 3 weeks ago, I officially signed a contract to come here to Cambodia for a year. In the 2 weeks after, I packed my life in one suitcase, tied up lose ends and said bye to family and friends. Then I headed to Singapore for 5 days, Phnom Penh for 2 days and now, Sihanoukville my final destination for the next 11 months!

ANYWAYS, back to the main point of this awesome post: WHY? in the world would I go to Cambodia for a year to teach? I don't have a teaching background - what can I even do to help? Some of you know that a verse that really nailed it for me was Micah 6:8.

"He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

WOW! That verse on it's own speaks volumes but the whole book just grabbed me and grabbed my heart and didn't let go. More specifically, I needed to truly understand the depth or mercy, justice and humility that God calls us to in the face of the realities of this world.  And finally, "To walk humbly with your God" - what a daily blessing. I am not going to Cambodia because I am a great teacher or a superwoman or I a great Christian. I can't change the world but I am praying that God would change me daily and in small ways, impact the people around me.

That was my prayer before leaving Canada. Now that I am writing this 3 days after first arriving in Cambodia, Micah 6:8 has taken on a newer, deeper meaning. Where injustices are right in your face and showing compassion and mercy is a decision you have to make multiple times each day, walking before God is a humbling and naked experience. Every moment, my mind is blown and my heart is broken.

The Real Beginning

S

So some of you might be wondering: What in the world is going on? Where are you going? What are you doing? Before I go into anything deeper like why I am going, what I hope to learn and all that jazz, these are some quick facts...

Where: Sihanoukville, Cambodia (see map for visual). Cambodia itself is an interesting country known for it's history and attractions, both good and bad. The most famous attraction being the Angkor Wat temples which are ancient Buddhist ruins near the city of Siam Reap. And more recently, Cambodia is infamous for the disaster of the Khmer Rouge, a massive civil war, which saw multitudes die from the famine and genocide. Coming out from such a tragedy, Cambodia was left devastated on all fronts - economically, politically, socially and spiritually. While she is re-gaining her strength economically, many social injustices such as sex trafficking still prevail, leaving a deep spiritual void and hunger for more.
What: To teach Grade 1 in Life International School.
Life International School is a school set up by Korean missionaries along with the Life University, considered Cambodia's first Christian university and for the purpose of providing the next generation of Cambodia's leaders with a good education and Christian influence from the early years all the way to university level.
Who: The kids are Cambodian or mix-Cambodian, some are missionaries' kids, pastors' kids and teachers' kids. The teachers hail from all over the world such as Korea, America, India, Singapore, Canada and of course, a number of local Cambodians.

* In some interesting news, I read on the Singapore paper just today that the leaders of the Khmer Rouge have recently been brought to trial in Phnom Penh, Cambodia.

To end off, some points you can be praying for:
- Cambodia
~ healing, forgiveness and restoration for the people
~ social justice in the sex trade and trafficking; and that both Christians and non-Christians would take a stand against it
- That I would be able to love the children under my care and extend God's love and care
- The children would grow to be the next leaders, teachers, pastors and missionaries of Cambodia and lead with integrity and love


Til next time!

A Reminder to Myself ...

The Adventure Begins

Post Number One.

I guess it's supposed to be an epic post but I'm in a bit tired with packing, procrastinating and being worried so I'll just make this one quick and snappy. 

Tomorrow will be my last day in Toronto for a year! I never thought I'd say this but I already miss Toronto, UofT and of course, the amazing people that make this place almost like home. Aban told me to embrace the whole experience and that I will be meeting new people who will blow the ones here out of the water. That excites me, but somehow I still don't think so. God has blessed me abundantly with the community over here. If you had a glimpse at my old blog, you'd think that a whole different person is writing this. God has definitely turned a challenging and bitter experience into such a powerful picture of His redemption and grace upon my life. 

This seems surreal. 32 hours until lift off. Singapore then Cambodia.