Day Thirteen: First Day of Class!

Oh Lord! Help me! First day of class. I have 13 boys and 2 girls. A crazy handful. And 4 more kids on their way. Oh God, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING. People get degrees in teaching and I have nada training, nada experience and nada principal to tell me what to do! We just had a half day of teaching today because it was more of an orientation. But even by 11.30am lunch break, I was absolutely knackered. I can’t imagine a normal week 6am – 6pm Monday to Friday and Saturday mornings. It’s 6pm now and I should be doing lesson plans and preparing for devotions for the kids tomorrow but I am BEAT.

Things on my to-do list for tonight:

1. Plan lesson for Grade 2 English

2. Plan lesson for Grade 2 Morals/Health

3. Prepare a Bible Story for Devotions

4. Cook and Eat

5. Pray for the kids

6. Take a shower

7. Contemplate life

8. Spend time with Jesus

All of this by 10pm so I can be up by 6am. I need Jesus.

Something else I’ve been contemplating is what it really means to live out Jesus in the classroom. It’s the toughest thing of my life. Kids see right through you. And in a country where cheating, bribing and slacking off in the classroom is the norm, what does it mean to discipline and train kids with such a hard hand. Where does grace stand in? How do I teach my kids that it’s not by works but by grace? But how do I also teach them to do their best, try their hardest and work hard to improve? How do I reward them on more than just their academic achievement and rigorous school standard?

And you know what the funny thing is, some of the Khmer teachers and officer with the best work ethic are Buddhist, not Christian. They live very moral lives. Morality as a set of rules makes sense. As a flight of stairs leading to a perfect standard. The trouble comes when you throw GRACE into the picture. When you realize in humility that you cannot reach that perfect standard. When you realize in humiliation that only God can and that He is able to work that perfect standard in me undeservingly. So where then do works fall in? What does it really mean to be a Christian?

At times like these, the line between being a Christian saved by the grace of God and just being a moral person seems blurred. How do I teach morality that comes only from God and not just morality out of human effort to a bunch of Khmer-speaking 6 year-olds?