Gospel

It was Sunday and the end of a busy week. Physically, I was exhausted and wasn't feeling too spiritual or emotionally exuberant either. I didn't know what to speak on for church. I didn't feel qualified or experienced. So I spoke on the one thing I was sure about and I knew I couldn't go wrong.

I stood up there on Sunday morning and I shared the Gospel. Yup, no fancy title or extra packaging. Who would have thought? Sharing the gospel at a church service? So this is how it went (sermon notes in blue, blogging interjections in purple):

I was asked to share today and wondering what I could possibly speak about. I am 23 years old. That’s not young, but I know there is much for me to learn through experience and knowledge. So this morning, I will not so much be speaking from experience or knowledge as I will from my heart. Though I may not be an expert or theologian of the bible, there is one truth that I do know and that I am sure of. And that is what I will be sharing today.

Despite my mere 23 years, God has allowed me to experience Him and the world we live in. I have had the pleasure of living all over the world for the past few years. All these countries have many diverse cultures, people and religions. But there are 2 things remain the same wherever I go in the world. 1) People are searching for truth. They may try to look for it in love, in religion, in tradition, in material things or success. But they are always looking for something more. 2) I have found the truth and this truth has never let me down.

The Gospel

This truth is the gospel. Gospel means good news. And this good news is that Jesus Christ, who is God Himself on earth, has saved us from sin. You’re probably thinking: I know the gospel already. But I am personally convicted and reminded that the gospel never grows old and is always relevant in every life situation. It is the truth and the truth never changes. Whether I’m a teacher, a student, a business person, in ministry or not in ministry, the truth is my bearing and is always relevant.

So what’s so good about the good news? Because it is life itself. In the bible, it says that God is life, God is light and God is love. Life, light and love are what humans depend on and desire. In essence, all throughout the world, people need God. The good news is that God loves us and also desires to be with us.

1 John 4:10 says – This is love: not that we loved God but that He loved us…

The bad news is that humanity does not deserve to be with God. While God is life, light and love, we are the opposite. We kill, our hearts are dark and we hate. With every action, there is a consequence. You reap what you sow. Buddhists believe in this and call it karma. If you do good, good comes back to you. And if you do bad, bad comes back to you. The thing is, no amount of good, can undo evil. It is like a cup of water with a drop of poison. This poison is like the hate and evil in our hearts. Good, clean water is like goodness and purity. You can fill the cup with more water but it does not take away the poison. It merely dilutes it. No matter how much water is in the cup, the drop of poison will still kill you when you drink it.

Romans 6:23 says – for the wages of sin is death…

Now here’s the REALLY good news: God loved us so much that He took that cup of poison and He drank it for us. It is by His grace we are saved.

Quote from Bono - I'd be in big trouble if Karma was going to finally be my judge… It doesn't excuse my mistakes, but I'm holding out for Grace… Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff.

1 John 4:10 says – This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son (Jesus) as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

Jesus was born 2000 years ago but is alive still today. Because He is God Himself. God sent a part of Himself, His Son, Jesus, to bear the consequence, to drink our cup of poison. He suffered our punishment through beatings and death on a cross. Yet, He didn’t stay dead but came back to life in order that He might give us new life! So not only did He drink our cup of poison, but when He came back to life it was like He poured us a new cup of clean, clear, living water free from death!

Now we receive this new life by placing our faith in Jesus and accepting Him as a Saviour and a Lord of our lives. 

I know this last line sounds cheesy but I explained how we can receive this new life and what it means. Do note that my notes were somewhat hurridly typed between work and having to cook dinner. That's no excuse, but please do read on if you desire...

Ephesians 2: 8 says – it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God

But wait, once we have accepted Jesus Christ into our hearts, it’s not the end of the story but only the beginning! Just as we celebrate the birth of a baby not because it stays a baby always but will one day grow up to achieve something great, our new life in Christ should be one of growth.

 

From my own life, the gospel is always relevant in 2 inseparable ways: 1) the truth of the gospel is expanding in my own personal life to make me more like Jesus and 2) I am able to share the gospel with others. There is a line in a worship song by Charlie Hall which describes it better than I can: All of life comes down to just one thing, that’s to know Him and to make Him known.

Now, this is where things get interesting! As I was walking to church that morning I decided to throw in a little blurb about my own experiences and family situation with living with the gospel in my heart at this bit of my message.  

So now I'm standing and I start to talk about being here in Cambodia, God's will for me, my family, my family's expectations for me, my parents.. Oh, just all that I felt were tugging me here and there in life. There were so many little voices that were telling me to go this way or that. And as I thought and talked about my family, I started to cry. I stood there, about 30 pairs of eyes staring back at me. I could hardly speak, tears dripping down. Perhaps it was the great decisions and dilemma I had before me: should I stay or should I go? Or rather, could I stay or could I go? Perhaps it was remembering the ernest sacrificial love of my parents that broke my heart thinking that I could not provide for them like I wanted to. Perhaps it was the overwhelming truth that loomed above them all: that none of that matters, because God's will and plan for my life blows my mind and my worries out of the water. Actually, it was probably all of the above. Whatever it was, it was like the gospel hit a nerve. My nerve. My life. My worries. My future. The gospel, it collided with my life and I saw it overwhelm all my petty collections of dreams and fears. It was glorious yet raw. And left me standing at the pulpit crying. Whether out of sympathy or empathy, I dragged a couple people along with me on the ride too.

The last time I found myself crying in front of a congregation, I was telling my church at a camp about my trip to East Asia two summers ago. I kinda shimmied and danced off the tears. But I didn't think that would go down as well here. Thank God, as I was speaking, skype jumped on the powerpoint slide behind me, caused a boy in the congregation to laugh and helped me move on to more light-hearted mood. 
 

To know Him

The gospel is knowing God. It changes the way we live. Reminding ourselves of the gospel allows us to come freely before God and rely on Him and not on our effort and works.

More recently, I have been learning 2 things from knowing God: Humility and Freedom.

Through the gospel, we see more of His nature – His love, His forgiveness, His justice, His grace, His power, His life. Through the gospel, we see more of our own sinful nature and can then humbly allow Him to work within us to make us more like Him. There is a dual action of having less of us and more of Him in our lives. This is something I say to remind myself of this: the height of His love for us should be the depth of our humility and submission to Him.

Yet we can also be rest assured that we are changed more into His likeness only through the strength of His Holy Spirit. As we grow in knowledge of Him, we realize the freedom that comes from living in Him. We cannot save ourselves but only God can!

Galatians 5: 1 – 2 says – it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery.

And 1 John 4:18 says – There is no fear in love but perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

So we can now live free from fear of judgement and death!

To make Him known

Having the gospel in my heart now gives me a responsibility and honour to tell others and make Christ known.

Matthew 28:18-20 gives us the great commission – Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey all I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

There was a video clip of an atheist comedian making fun at first of Christians who were sharing the gospel to him on the street. He said at first that He felt angry towards them and didn’t want them to bother him. But he said if Christians really believe that the gospel is true – that without Jesus, there is sin and death, that NOT telling people the gospel was like seeing a big truck zooming towards someone on the street and not trying to save that person.

A missionary once said: the gospel is only good news to those who hear it.

I’ll leave us with this verse in Romans 10:13 – 15 – for, Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!

So that was pretty much what went down. More than wanting to proclaim the drama of the day, my amazing preaching skills or the intensity of my encounter with God right at the pulpit, I am sharing my Sunday morning with you because I believe the gospel to be always true and life changing. And it is my awesome privillege to share this truth and life with you. But the choice is up to you to accept or decline.

It's your choice.  

Church

This Sunday, I've been asked to deliever a message. Well, the actual words were more like: "just share from your heart for 15 to 20 minutes is fine". In other words, or in the words I came up with, I am supposed to preach this Sunday at church. And this scares me. I'm not putting this on my blog to boast of my great wisdom or righteousness. Although, I'm going to be honest, it did feel like a great honour to get asked (even though it's because we have no pastor to preach and it's holiday season so half the members are gone). So I'd need lots of guidance, prayer and support. Please feel free to give me advice, share your thoughts and definitely pray for me. Above all, pray that I preach the gospel in an uncompromising and clear way.

Dry

Wet season had its share of troubles - floods, mudslides and just so much darned water you think you don't need to see another rainfall ever.

But then who knew the dry season had more drama of its own?

Water shortages and bush fires! To be honest, I've had to use the toilet a couple times when the water's cut. Bad idea. You can't flush. It just sits there stewing in the heat for a couple hours at best, or DAYS at its worst. Biohazard right there.

And then there are bush fires. So the bit of hill behind our school caught fire. It crackled and spat. At first I thought it sounded like the pitter patter of rain. But it was a fire. It made its way down the hill in record speed - fueled by the tall dry grass that grew everywhere and by the oncoming sea breeze. At first I thought it might die out, but as my roommate and I looked on, it steadily crept closer and closer. I'm not going to lie, I was worried. Soon, I saw the security guy and a couple maintenance dudes run up and frantically beat out the flames with tree branches. It seemed like an unfair battle with the armour and equipment (or lack of) that the men had. It was quite a show to watch the men attack the flames with such determination. Most days, we laugh at them for slacking off at work but today they were at the top of their game. Those men were quite heroic. I was very proud of them. I prayed. They won the battle against nature. But not until the side of the hill was blackened and devoured by the fire. 

This is a picture of me on the hill just a day before the fire. Looks like the meadows of England, huh?

NINETY-2!

NINETY TWO! NINETY TWO!

That's all the old Korean Professor said as he smiled and patted my shoulder in a sage-like manner. Yes, 92 Korean teenagers have arrived on our floor for the next couple days. 92. 

My roommate and I have been waving our hands in the air and hysterically breathing the infamous words: NINETY TWO... and then I hooked us up with some Epik High beats.

Art

This afternoon, I watched swirls of paint get washed down the sink. This may sound weird but I thoroughly enjoyed myself. The colours mixing, the slosh of the water... It was fantastic. It's even more fantastic because that's my job. Well, more specifically, meet the new Art Teacher of Life International School: me.

Before I came to Cambodia, I already had my ticket into Art School. I had applied, gotten in and sunk $100 in applications. Then, God told me to go into the workforce. And then He said to go to Asia. While Asia I loved, work was far from what I had intended to to after graduation. But I felt a peace leaving that dream of Art School behind. A dream that I had been holding on to during my 5 years of undergraduate. A dream that turned into a desire that turned into an idol. I wanted it so much for my selfish reasons. Through amazing events throughout the past summer, God taught me a lot about Art. How it is not an end in itself but a powerful tool. I had thought for the longest time that all I needed was to learn about Art. I realize now what I really need to learn is what I can use Art for - what's out there, who can benefit from it and how it can be used to touch lives.

This is week 2 of being a resident Art Teacher as well as a Grade 1 Teacher. I am loving it. And being blown away constantly by how God brought me as far away from Art School as possible only to give me back so much more. I don't know how else to express my thoughts than to say: God is good. 

postscript: I just found bright blue paint on my toes. Woohoo!

Roommates

On a lighter note, let me shed light (haha) on some goings-on at my home in Cambodia.

I have 2 roommates. They deserve a bit of a spotlight since they are now such a big part of my life, sharing in my highs and lows and when I am puking on the bathroom floor or rejoicing after a good day at school. They are both American. One from Alabama and the other hails from a farm in NY State. Today, as I made crepes, there was country music blastin' in the background. 'Nuff said.

Well, let me throw in one more comment: The deal is they teach me to be country and I teach them how to be Asian - complete with singing and dancing to Super Junior's catchy soundtrack, Sorry Sorry Sorry.

Heartbreak

Oh no, by the title this must be another emo blog post. I know, there's been a lot of them lately and I apologise. But I must include this (hopefully last) one to complete the saga.

You see, the funny thing is that when I first came to Cambodia, I told God that He could break my heart if it meant that it would bring me closer to Him. Not Him literally but to use people and circumstances to do so. There's so much detail I'm leaving out but I pray that you can follow along with me. Basically, I prayed a crazy prayer. For a girl, her heart and emotions are the most sacred. Coming here, I gave God permission to invade the deepest, darkest areas of my life. I prayed that prayer knowing that He would answer me but not knowing how or when.

God has answered my prayer.

Well, God IS answering my prayer. The heartbreak is ongoing and so is the work of restoration and healing. Over the past 2 weeks, my heart has never been broken so much by so many people at the same time. I have never felt as rejected. Yet, I have never felt as renewed and at peace as I do now. I know that is exactly where God wants me to be. For the very purpose that I may truly and deeply be assured of His love and forgiveness. 

It is like the past few months I have been stumbling from pit to pit. Each one took me closer to heartbreak. Emerging from the pit was met with the glory of light and rejoicing, while down below the light seemed to shine brighter amongst the shadows. Although pits are never fun, I got accustomed to hiding in the shadows and admiring the piercing light from afar there. But this time, I fell into a pit that was like an ocean of darkness. So deep and so dark that it swallowed me whole. The only way back to the light was to get out of the pit and stay out! I had made the darkness my home and now God was calling me to wake up and shake the shadows from my being once and for all.

I don't know if what I wrote makes sense. But perhaps this might:

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:18 -19