Life

This evening, I found out that my god-brother passed away. He took his life. He was 26. 

Sometimes I get so caught up in my own worries and trials to realize that this life is fleeting. Most days I think things will never change and that at 23 I have my whole life ahead of me. And usually, I think that my friends and family will be around. At least for a few more years. But life is fleeting. Things do change. And sometimes, life on earth ends sooner than we think.

When I heard the news of my god-brother I was shocked. He was young and I never really knew what went through his mind. It was a stern reminder of 2 things: 1) People around us are broken 2) We don't have as much time as we think we do. Consequently, this means 2 things in my life: 1) To set aside differences and love deeply the people in my life 2) Tell people the most valuable thing in this world - true life. 

To put bluntly and simply, if my life or the lives of my friends and family were to end soon, I would not merely tell them that I loved them. I would tell them this: God loves them. God loves you.

Not some strange being in the sky or an electric presence out there. But a personal, living, loving God who created and moulded you to know and have relationship with Him. We've been searching for Him through time, through religions, through making of massive statues and temples. And in today's world, we have been looking for Him through romantic relationships, intimacy, entertainment , thrill-seeking or careers and success. All to fill that void in our lives. Some people call it "meaning" or "purpose" or "calling". Some call it "the one" or "Mr. Right" or "Miss Right". Across time, across cultures and countries, we are all looking for God to fill that void. 

The sad news is that we don't know how to. Religion doesn't get us to God. Living right and doing good doesn't get us to God. Loving God doesn't even get us to God. I don't know if this happens to you but I know that when I try hard to do good, I fail. When I intend to love, I hurt and distance my friends and family. Living in Cambodia, I see corruption, poverty and a history of violence and bloodshed everyday. And try as I may, I cannot change anything. Somedays, I don't even want to. I am selfish. I am sinful. Sin doesn't merely mean doing bad things or thinking bad thoughts. Sin mean missing the mark of perfection. According to the laws of this world, you get what you give. We give hatred, anger, deceit and death - whether with our words or actions. What then should we get? Do we even deserve God coming to our rescue?

Truthfully, no, we don't deserve it. Yet, truthfully, God did it. He did rescue us. He came into history and split time when Jesus was born. Jesus was all man and all God. Jesus is sometimes called the Son of God because He is a part of God Himself. He lived the lives we live, desiring and struggling with what we do. Yet He lived the life we couldn't - He portrayed compassion, love, sacrifice, integrity and humility. He deserved a reward we don't deserve. Instead, He got a death He didn't deserve. All so He could turn the tables and give His reward to us and take our death upon Himself. Grace. We receive a pardon, a reversal of sorts, for our sin.

We still die a natural death in this life. But something else changes. Life. 

God is life. And when the barrier of sin and imperfection is removed by God Himself through Jesus, that life becomes available to us. And it is a life that awakens our spirit on this earth to give and receive love, find joy (not happiness) in all situations and live at peace with great assurance of God's love for us. And it also allows our spirits to live eternally with God beyond this earthly life.

Why doesn't everyone have this life then? Why don't even some people who call themselves "Christian" seem to have this life? Because this life comes as an exchange. Ours for His. Our small, sinful lives for His righteous, satisfying one. Intellectually and whole-heartedly, we must make a decision to lay down our small dreams for His big vision. Yet, the human struggle is that of losing control. We all like to be the boss of our lives. Believe me, it is a daily struggle. But one thing I've learnt in the short years I've been on this earth: God's plan always trumps my own. And He always provides and helps me lay down my life for His. Always.

Now this all may seem outlandish, perhaps too good to be true. Or maybe typical and tripe. But let me ask you this: When your time here is up, what's your next step?