Endings

It's been an emotional roller coaster these couple weeks. Lots of goodbyes, lots of last meals, last photographs, and other things you might want to have a last of. Every so often I have to take a breath, lest I get overwhelmed with nostalgia and thoughts of the future all at once. Yet, there is also a peace deep within. I'm not going to lie. Some days this peace is buried deep, deep, deeep inside. It is clouded by thoughts, tiredness, impatience, uncertainty... But, it's there.

A peace that comes from gratitude. Wow, I get to spend an amazing year in this georgeous country, meet such loving people and hear some mind-blowing stories of immense tragedies and yet immense miracles. I do not deserve any of it, but I get it all. Thank You, God!

A peace that comes from assurance. Assurance that God has crazy/beautiful things still in store. What a year this has been. So unexpected, so challenging, so educational. Nothing I had planned but everything I desired. God did it all. He never failed. He never fails. He will never fail. Now, I know what Ira Forest Stanphil meant when she wrote the lines in the hymn:  

Many things about tomorrow, I don't seem to understand. But I know Who holds tomorrow and I know Who holds my hand. 

A peace that comes from trust. Like I said, I have no idea what tomorrow brings. I want to go home but, to be honest, it scares me so much. People have changed, things have changed, I have changed. By the time I get back, it would have been 365 days. I don't know who I go back to or what. I know God has a crazy plan for my life but I don't know what. There is so much I just don't know. But I trust. It is so hard, so humbling. But I trust Him.